Re: Breaking-up

This topic started at kat's post and then followed by dess'. The first paragraph was supposed to be my comment on dess' post.:D

...i have had the experience of waiting and hoping for someone after a breakup and it was torture...but i realize that maybe the person who broke up with you also do not know the real reason and is just relaying to you what he sees as the symptoms the real reason is causing. the real reason being - the love is gone...or what the both of you have thought as love has shown it's true identity. when people need/want things badly, they can start seeing things through a filter..usually rose-colored ones. so even if even at the start, the relationship was really doomed, you tend to prolong the agony by trying to work it out when it should have been left alone.

maybe there are people who really know the reasons why they had to end the relationship and just choose to give the much easier to swallow reasons, or the reasons that can easily let them off the hook or even the reasons that can best diminish their guilt on the breakup...i do not like to think of people in the negative sense. i am a person who strives to give the benefit of the doubt. even if the person seems pure evil, there may be a reason for all the hostility. and maybe that person is just waiting for someone to try to understand him...

but the main point of the breakup is letting go and moving on. do we really need to concentrate on what the other person has told us? we are also in that relationship, so we should know what happened, right? in our hearts, we should see what went wrong and accept it. we should not rely on the reason the other person told us, because that would signify that we can't think for ourselves...

it's hard to detach yourself from the situation to see what really went wrong, but it helps...